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Too Shy To Talk

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[
November 5th, 2007 • 3:43pm
]
I'm going to prom with Christopherrrrrrrrrrrrr<3
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[
April 28th, 2007 • 4:39pm
]
i miss him
:[


he drove by my house today and i seen him
i went to waterford last night and for some reason...
i felt guilty



[[[he stole my heart;
then ripped it apart]]]
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[
March 17th, 2007 • 3:56pm
]
[ mood | pretty soon! ]

Hmmmmmm
well I've been good...fer the most part :]

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAYYY!!!

I'm going to Samanthas to night with her, Cassie & Ashley.
I'm pretty excited to hangout with them.
I haven't chilled with Sam ina while & goddamn I <3 Ash & Cass.




hmm anyyyywhoooo-
They broke up:]
Ha. Look at me. I get excitment off of other people's misery.
Call me selfish and I'll tell you..I KNOW:)
We've been texting.
& we talked on the phone fer a bit not last night but the night before.
whateverrrrrrr. I know he hurt me alot buut he makes me happy.

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[
March 3rd, 2007 • 1:10pm
]
[ mood | annoyed ]

fucking christ.
i am so sick of this shit...

fer real.
im pissed





and its 1:11 p.m & ive got almost a quater of a bottle gone.

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[
February 27th, 2007 • 6:21pm
]

I'm getting my nose pierced tomorrow.
:]

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[
February 25th, 2007 • 1:59pm
]
Let's side track from all these entries about me drinking, doing drugs, and boys.
This is pretty serious.


Today.
I have not a clue why but it's hitting me so hard..I miss my grandmother so much today.
My mom just left to get her tattoo..maybe that's whats making me think so god damn hard..I don't know..but a little while ago my little sister Emily just cleaned her room and took a doll my Juju gave her and she came up to me and was like "sara do you remember the christmas juju gave me this doll?" I was right here on the computer and she sat on my lap and I looked at her and just started bawling. 

It's been...10 months.
and its really hitting me really hard right now.
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[
February 24th, 2007 • 1:03pm
]

I seen the ataris last night @ Northern Lights.
<3
fucking |a|m|a|z|i|n|g|

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[
February 23rd, 2007 • 2:49pm
]
I smoked 2 blunts.
3 bowl pacs
and 2 bong rips.
and i just took 2 hydros.
holy hell.
im stoned:]
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vodka vodka vodka [
February 20th, 2007 • 10:21am
]

My head hurts so fucking much.....
no more 1/2 gallon bottles of vodka for Sara.

I can barely see straight..I feel like I'm going to die.

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[
February 19th, 2007 • 6:07pm
]
"Call up Mc, maybe he can get it."
"no way he's been such a douche bag ever since he realized he could get pussy everyday"
"not to be mean but i don't think his girlfriends that cute"
"NO. neither do I. *chuckle* NOT AT ALL."

"oh she's fucking beautiful"-me
"your such a bitch sara"
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[
February 16th, 2007 • 3:18pm
]

I'll always be your biggest fan
<3

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"Happy" Valentine's Day. [
February 14th, 2007 • 1:55pm
]




4 years ago today.
YOU fell in LoVe
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[
February 3rd, 2007 • 9:19am
]

Constantly, we dance in sheets,
It feels so right to be so wrong
Normal love set aside,

leave you heart at the bedside...
Contaminate the air like you do,
Swear I'm telling you the truth.

<3  <3

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[
February 2nd, 2007 • 5:31pm
]
I hung out with Conner a few days ago.
Me & him.

it was kinda like the old days of sneeking out and well uhm. yeah..but none of "that" haha ; ]

Hanging out with him for the first time in like EVER, I slip on ice and fall on my ass. I just layed down in the parking lot cracking up and im like im such an idiot! and he came over laughing at me pulle me up HUGGED ME and was like i know you are, im not sure if he was trying to kiss my forhead but his lips kinda landed there when he pulled me up...it was nice seeing him and hanging out with him for a little...

We talked about him doing all this fucked up shit.
He said the last time he did coke was on my birthday...then he got really sensitive with him and talked about his mom and how he feels like if she was still alive he'd be such a dissapointment to her, and how he is dad is really sick and old now and how his dad can't face the fact that he's dying. That kids been through so much...I just want to help him, but I don't have the words to say to him, I don't know what words to say to him.



I had another encounter with the bad N word.
I don't want to talk about it.
He just mutilates my heart.
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[
January 28th, 2007 • 5:43pm
]
[ mood | cheerful ]

saturday :-]

so i went into the back room and I seen this really tall guy and wondered who it was..then Greg yelled to me and the kid turned around..
guess who it was.
CONNER.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
He stood there and stared at me with my mouth litterally dropped to the ground and was like "heyy sar, long time no see"
I was like.."ill-be-right-back" within a micro-second.
I stayed out in the living room and he came looking for me, sat down next to me and was like:
"so much for sticking to your word."
"huh?"
"you said youd be right back, and didnt so i came after you"

We talked a little..and it was WAY awkward..just because of the people around..
Then we get IDIOT "remember when we would stay on the phone for hours and watch movies together.."

He asked me how I knew "IDIOT" and I told him we used to date and Conner looked at me like..wow..


He seen me smoking a ciggarette and was like "damn sara you've changed huh?"
and i was like hahah yeeeah and he was like i remember when you stole like 4 packs of mine and crushed them all up and i was like yeah i was stupid if i could id go back and SHAMOKE them all right now haha he laughed and just shook his head.
I told him about ******, which made me sound completely NOT like Sara.
He just looked down at me shook his head and was like dayyymn sar.



OKAY:
so i knew he was cute, but i forgot HOW fucking HOT he was.
He used to be a skinny little kid, but now he's gots some musk-els;] and looks mighty fine with his navy blue american eagle collared shirt and of course he was rockin the studded belt which made me ALMOST orgasim.
ahhh.

<3 <3

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[
January 25th, 2007 • 1:10pm
]
mhm.
yeah so I pretty much hate people.
Girls in general.


Espically those ugly skanks who deserve to get fucking hit by a huge mac-truck.




im fiending right now.
i need a fucking blunt [and a penis]
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[
January 12th, 2007 • 6:36pm
]

Someone please tell my why
im still falling more and more in love with him.

0 comments | reply | edit | memory

Becareful with that heart in your hands... [
December 27th, 2006 • 12:11pm
]
[ mood | rejected ]

So Sara did somethings that I KNOW I shouldn't do...and I've gotta admit it...I did this ALL to myself in the end...



I knew it was gonna happen, and I let it.
I fell.
and yep.
I crushed.
Now I'm crushed...







I really don't know what else to write, except I did it to myself and I shouldn't blame him. but i will
He basically told me, I was just to fucked up to comphrehend...
whatever.




Maybe things would have been different if I just told them all how I felt in the beginning.
Whatever...it was fun while it lasted...
[i think]







<|3 Rejected.Used.Disgusted.

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[
December 17th, 2006 • 2:24pm
]

Oh my jesus.


It's been a year since I've written in this damned thing...
December 14th 2005__last entry.
[matt's birthday]



This past year...has been...unforgetable<3
For the good and the bad.
I've changed so much...and I'm so proud of myself.
For the better. I've relized I'm such a better person without the Bag Of Douche in my life.




Where do I start?
My cousin Kristy moved in with me..and she's like a sister to me now.
So many good fucking times..it's incredible hahaha.
I've meet some cool ass kids because of her and I'm so thankful for it.
Over the summer...I met a boy.
A gorgeous..hilarious..extremely sweet...perfect...boy...
I fell HARDCORE for him...I mean..harder than hardcore...
His name was Matt. [notice the past tense]
HE was the one who chased after me....
I fell...and we dated for about 2 short short months.
He broke up with me for a slut...and every feeling I felt from when I last had my heart broken..came back...
I was completely heart broken...again.




So what does a broken hearted girl do to get back at her exboyfriend?
She...yea...did something SHE completely regrets.
& that "fucking killed him."



I'm okay now..
I mean..I still miss hanging out with the kid.
I wish we didn't date...not just for the part so I didn't get fucked over again by another boy but just because he was one person I would still like to be friends with..but that's not going to happen...because he's scumbag..just like the rest of them.
& I still can't believe how fast he stole my heart....








Okay.
So
Remember that boy named Nick?
Remember that cunt named Hilary? the one he left me for?
awwww so I've heard he broke her little heart.
Maybe the bitch shoulda listened to me when I said he was no good and loved to kill little girls.
Yep.
ONCE AGAIN...sara was riiight.











So I've become an alcoholic.
No joke.
Haha.
I've been drinking every weekend since my birthday.
[My birthday = best night ever]
Kristy, Zack Greg & I wasssted.
Okay Okay I lied.
ME wassssted. First time drinking straight liquior and I don't remember a god damn thing :]
STRIPES!!! hahahaha I was in love with Greg that night. haha [just kidding]











Friday night...
I was wasted.
along with Lauren, her boyfriend Glen, Samantha, Limmer & more.
I hooked up with Limmer,
again. [for the third or fourth intoxicated time.]
Told him I liked him..and BUNCH of other shit that really makes me embarassed when I think about it. 
haha aww jeeze. I'm a dumb fuckkk.
The thing is..I don't know how I feel.
Drunken feelings? I thiiink so.
But I won't get myself bent out of shape over him or any other boys..I'll just play it as it goes along.



Lauren & Glen are basically the cutest fucking couple ever.
..Like..They'd make gorgeous babies.
haha I haven't seen her this happy since what? 7th grade.
& her boyfriend is a complete sweetheart to her & I approve of him. 












I don't even know what else to write.
I don't know how to catch anyone up...
Life's just been the way it should be...
FRIENDS. beer. FRIENDS. random boys & funnn











<3
Sara

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[
December 14th, 2005 • 10:06am
]

 

I'm done with livejournal...

 

 

 

I sold out and have a myspace now www.mypsace.com/bestxregards

 

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[
November 7th, 2005 • 9:24am
]
[ mood | crappy ]

Alrighty...I'm in school and this year has been...uhmm very INTERESTING.

It's hard to be in school...and see him..well the first week was horrible. I mean I threw up every time I seen him. I did some stupid stuff I regret doing now, but you know..oh well. It's easier now..I'm sort of with Conner......but I'm not sure what is happening with us.

 

The Nintendo Fusion tour was GRRRAND!
The week before that I went to Winners and seen Pennywise and h20 and Death by Stero, it was great. I met h20 and I got DBS guitar pic and I sang into the mic with Pennywise. 'Cause I am a cool kid like that:)

Uhm November 12 this Saturday I am going to see the Misfits in Poughkeepsie with Conner. Then the 26th I am going to see the Bouncing Souls AGAIN! I am so excited. or shall I say SEXcited haha...ahhh the memories.:-/

 

Conner is abousutely amazing...like he is the SWEETEST boy I have ever met......he sang me my favorite Something. Corporate song....."punk rock princess" soo cute. I'm not sure what will happen....Oh yeah by the way.....did I mention he is the best kisser EVER. Ahhhhhh lip ring + tounge ring = Sara's stomach melting. (yet thinking about you know who still)

 

Once my comp. at home gets fixed I am making a NEW livejournal....starting it over...haha yeah uhh so uh I'll write later I guess

 

The complete controlling bitch-
Sara </3

 

 

 

***oh yeah my best guy friend asked me out or uh to be his "friend with benefits"

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hmm.. [
September 2nd, 2005 • 7:13pm
]
[ mood | crappy ]

School starts in less than a week..I got my schedule study hall first pierod. My locker is 722. All my classes are shit except I have Studio Art with Ms. Salamon. She's "rad." If my schedule gets changed like last year I'll be pissed off.

(A)Study Hall ---Peterson
       (B) Earth Science Lab ---Cunningham
(A)Studio Art --Salamon
       (B) Math A Prep ---MRS. Talbot
(AB)Global II --Cook
(AB)English II --waltersdorf
(AB)Geometry --Talbot
(AB)Earth Science --goodspeed
(AB)Spanish 3 --WHITFORD
(A)Gym 9*10  --Pagano
        (B) Health --LawSaunders

 

Nick and I .....well we aren't dating and we aren't friends. I've done my growing up and I relize now that he needs to spend time with his family and  friends, and make some new ones...it's his senior year and I want him to be happy. He won't talk to me and he told Lauren that we are never getting back together...never ever. Soo it sucks and I would still like to be his friend if I can't be anything more. I know he didn't leave me for Hillary...and if she makes him happy...then good he is happy. But if any girls and that includes Hillary think they can fuck with Nick's emotions and just use him or lead him on..they have got another thing coming because I will fucking murder them. (ahh and here comes my bi-polarness) I want him to be happy...but this pain for me is over-barring, us not being friends I mean. I have completely accepted the fact he left me..I would just like to be friends. Right now...even if he wanted me back I couldn't take him back because I too need some time for myself..and with my friends. I would just like for us to be mature about breaking up because we had a mature friendship...I would like to be friends...and right now only friends. But..I can't do anything.

I had a wierd dream about prom....and that made me wonder if we are still going. Because he asked me to go with him already..but we aren't dating now, it's wierd.....and he always wanted to bring me to his prom. But prom is far away and one of the least of my worries. I would just like to be his friend.

 

Am I pathetic or what?!

 

Conner was over yesterday..I'll put what happened in my friend's only part because...well...I'm just not ready for him. Too much waaayy to fast. It feels as if he doesn't even care about my emotions. I don't know..I thought he was genuine and differnt....Are all guys the same?

 

My dad had his surgery today... I can't stand to see his face swollen...the 16th we find out if it is cancer. Please pray for him...My mom got a job...not a good one but it will hold us over until the place calls my dad back for his job. hmmm....

 

OH YEAH. I'm going to see Fall Out Boy! Motion City Soundtrack (ehh) and BOYS NIGHT OUT! and THE STARTING LINE! kick ass! :-)

 

Taking steps back
through the worlds I should've said to you
they all got lost
you went away
well I feel sick and you just don't care
   anymore
                     -Lifehouse

 

Until next time Livejournal....

</3 </3 Sara Ann

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[
July 7th, 2005 • 7:25pm
]
I got my industrial done. It didnt really hurt, it felt really cool actually.




Nick and I broke up.....this is just the opposite of the last entry.



My comp. is broken and so is my phone.
Soooo whenever it is fixed, Lauren you should be expecting a phone call...I really need to talk to you.

I'm out-sara


</3</3
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It's great.........I'm happy....... [
July 1st, 2005 • 12:37pm
]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I passed my regents.
KICK ASS!!! 73!!!

I am getting my industrial done tomarrow at 4 at Needle Wurks:). Oh boy I am not chickening out this time. I'm sooo excited.

I'm going on vaction in agust and my wonderful boyfriend gets to tag along.....Ready for some hot wild sex in the ja-cuzzi!!!! ;) Nick.

I can't belive I said that

Haha welll..............................Thank you for the most wonderful day of my entire life...You mean it all to me. Forever.

Well school has been out for a while and it has been awwwesome. Nick's going to Warped Tour...and I can't go because I am going to be on Vaction for the Boston (north hampton) one. It was either me go to the warped tour, without nick, and no nick on vaction, and no industrial..So I chose Vaction with Nick, and my industrial. I'm happy though.  But it's okay I guess I can do with out....Tim *sniffle* Armstrong. And plus Nick's buying me a Transplants shirt.



*I dress in black and its a fact that I dont give a god damn at all*-Crash and Burn-*







I've been having some wierd ass dreams lately about Nick and Justin. It's crazy shit. Write more later.
Justin</3





<333 Sara

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[
June 15th, 2005 • 7:46am
]

Last Day Of School.

 

In first period right now. No one is here today, they skipped because they are losers. We are watching SpongeBob...yay. Nick came over yesterday, I had fun:) Did you Nick?

Friday is WWB and Streetlight Manifesto.....is Sara going? No! Why not? Because she has to go to her cousins graduation party, hey by they way he didnt even graduate. Whatever.

 

 

I'm out
<3 Sara

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